


Today Is Going To Be A Good Day

by XxBlazzyxX



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Depression, E-mail, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-25 21:07:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17732687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxBlazzyxX/pseuds/XxBlazzyxX
Summary: Connor Murphy didn`t really like himself. Evan Hansen didn`t like himself either. And as people say "misery loves company." To  Evan and Connor misery did love company, but not in a bad way. For Evan and Connor misery brought them together. But misery also brought them apart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I`d try out this idea I had after reading the Dear Evan Hansen novel! By the way if you haven`t read it you should!

**Dear Evan Hansen,**

**Today wasn`t amazing. Neither was yesterday. To be honest nothing really feels amazing. Sometimes it feels like the only time I`m happy is when I see you replied to my last email. I hope you respond soon. Life is feeling pretty lonely.**

**Sincerely, me.**

**Dear Connor Murphy,**

**Yes, I also miss our talks! I`m sorry I haven`t been emailing back. My mom got a few days off work and wanted to spend them together. Maybe this weekend we could hang out. Go to that orchard you always talk about?**

**Sincerely, me**

**Dear Evan Hansen,**

**I`ll sneak out of the house this weekend just to show you that orchard. It`s been shut down for a while but I`m sure they`ve still got some goods there. You want me to bring some weed?**

**Sincerely, me**

**Dear Connor Murphy,**

**Do NOT bring weed!**

**Sincerely, me**

**Dear Evan Hansen,**

**Pussy.**

**Sincerely, me**


	2. For Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is so short everyone! The story will pick up more as we advance! I hope you all like it anyway!

“Took you long enough!”

Connor smiled as Evan ran towards his navy-blue Hatchback. The Hatchback had been his car for a year now. His parents got it for him for his birthday the year before since he had done as Cynthia Murphy said, “so well in rehab!”

Evan and Connor had been friends for a while. In fact, they had been since freshman year. They spent most of their time emailing, as the two of them found it easier to just type instead of speaking. But sometimes, like today, they would meet up and do something together.

“Me? You`re the one who spent the last five minutes choosing which stripped shirt to wear!”

Evan smiled at Connor as he climbed into the passenger seat of the Hatchback. Connor always loved the sight of Evan getting in his car. The way his short blonde hair rustled slightly against the top. The way he instantly put his seat belt on as soon as he got in. 

“So, ready to go to the orchard?” Evan asked.

Connor turned the keys and listened to the familiar sound of the engine starting. “Actually, I thought we could make a quick stop.”

. . .

“Where are we going?”  
Connor held back a laugh. He had refused to tell Evan exactly what the pit stop was. In retrospect Connor felt back about it since he knew Evan was probably having a breakdown in his mind, but at the same time he liked surprising Evan.

“We`ll be there soon. Stop whining.”

As they continued to drive Connor listened to the music Evam had picked for the ride up. It sounded oddly familiar. “Evan,” he said calmly, “is this a recording of Zoe in jazz band?”

Evan`s ears turned a deep scarlet and he rushed to change the song. It went from a smooth jazz to Shut Me Up by Mindless Self Indulgence. Connor wanted to laugh. The song was something Evan had found on some weird app called Tik Tok but then got Connor obsessed with the song. 

“Putting Shut Me Up won`t shut me up Hansen.”

“Okay so maybe I listen to your sister`s jazz band recordings! So, what…”

“Evan,” Connor stopped the Hatchback and looked over at Evan, “It`s fine man. Zoe plays pretty good on that guitar of hers. Anyways, we`re here. Get out of the car.”

They stepped out of the car and looked at the stop they had made. In front of them was a small run-down looking ice cream shop. The peach-coloured walls were chipping, and sign was beginning to fade. Evan could barely make out the faded pink name; “À La Mode,” Connor said. 

Evan felt a smile form on his face. He hadn`t been to À La Mode in years. The last time he had been there was with his dad before a camping trip. Quickly he pushed those thoughts aside and nodded at Connor. “And here I was thinking the pit stop would be bad.”

“You need to have more confidence in me Ev. Now come on. I want a Rocky Chocolate Swirl and if I don`t get one in the next five minutes I am going to throw a fit that would rival that of a three-year-old.”

-

“It`s beautiful…” 

Evan stared at the field. It was framed like a picture with trees. The trees reached up higher than the ones at Ellison Park where Evan was interning that summer. There were a few gravel paths surrounding the trees, but the gravel seemed to be kicked around aimlessly like it hadn`t been tended to in years.

“Isn`t it? It`s an old orchard my family and I used to go to for picnics when I was younger. It`s shut down now. I still come up here sometimes to clear my mind. Of course, my family has all forgotten about it.”

Evan gave a sad nod. “Speaking of your family,” he said as Connor began to lead him through the trees, “when are you going to introduce me to them, or at least tell them we`re friends?”

“My family is different than your mom Evan. I haven`t had many friends in my life but the ones I did had have been picked apart until they run off. I`ll tell them at some point… Just not yet.”  
“I understand.” Evan said.

Of course, though he didn`t understand, and Connor knew that. But it was something that Connor had gotten used to. Evan was never good with talking about how he truly felt and Connor wasn`t going to force him to talk if he didn`t want to.

“We`re here.” 

Connor and Evan stopped. The area they had stopped at was at the edge of the orchard. The old wooden fence was broken and led off to more field that seemed to only be filled with tall grass. 

“This is where I always sit when I come here. Perfect place to stare at the clouds and all that cheesy movie shit.”

They sat down together and stared up at the clouds. 

“I`m king of the clouds.” Connor mumbles slightly.

“I get lifted.” Evan said without missing a beat. 

The two laugh at their little band quotes. They sat in quietness for a few minutes just watching the clouds pass by. Evan held his left arm up and made a gun. He made a little bullet sound as he pretended to shoot down clouds.

“Hey Ev.”

“Yeah?”

“Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?”

“Why?”

“Because It`s always ninety degrees.”

Evan burst out into laughter as soon as Connor finished his sentence. It was the kind of laugh that made someone also begin to laugh. It was the kind of laugh where you started tearing up. It was the kind of laugh that made your insides hurt in a good way. It was the kind of laugh that once it was over you had to take a few deep breaths to feel okay again.

“That was good Connor.”

“Hell yeah it was. Heard that one in science. Mr. Ebbermen thought it was hilarious, so he just had to tell us.”

Again they sat in silence. The wind passed by and blew through their hair, leaving both a sweet and cold feeling.

“Come on. I wanna walk.”

Evan stood up and ran after Connor who made his way back onto the gravel trail.

“What do you wanna do when we get out of school Evan?”

“What?”

“This year is our last year of high school. What do you wanna do when we get out?”

“Oh god Connor you know I suck at these questions… Okay umm… Well I don`t know… What do you think?”

Yet another thing Connor was used to. Evan`s “I don`t know” and “what do you think?” He used it whenever he didn`t know what to say. 

“Biking the Appalachian trail maybe, or we could write a book, or learn to sail. Wouldn`t that be cool?”

“I`d love to bike the Appalachian trail! I`ve got it on my map in my room! I keep hoping my dad will hike it with me but…”

“But?”

“Well we haven`t talked much in a while. The last time we talked was when I sent him the picture of the sign, you know, the one I made outside Ellison park.”

“That was a pretty dope ass sign man.”

“Yeah… Well I sent him the picture and told him the story then I said he had something he wanted to share with me too. Ultrasound pictures.”

“No way!”

“His new wife is pregnant.”

“Aw man… Ev that sucks. Does your mom know?”

“She was the first person I talked to about it. That night she seemed pretty understanding but after I went to bed, I heard her crying in the living room.”

“Did you talk to your counselor about it?”

“You mean Doctor Sheram? Yeah, I talked to him about it. He didn`t really understand my feelings though. He kept saying how this could be a chance for me to bond with my dad and his new family, but I don`t want that at all. I tried to make him proud and all I got in return was to find out I`m gonna be a big brother… He`s getting a new son and soon he`ll forget all about me…”

Evan felt himself starting to tear up. Memories of the day pounded at his head like knives trying to dig through his scalp. 

“Hey! Look!”

Evan looked up as Connor shouted. 

Standing a few feet in front of them was a ginormous tree. Evan stared up at it then looked back at Connor who smiled at him. 

“Follow me!” He called. Together they ran towards the tree. 

“How do you think the world would look from up there?” Connor asked.

“Cool…” Evan said softly, wiping away the tears that had fallen. 

“Well let`s go see it then!”

They began to climb up the tree together. One foot after the other. One branch then to another. They climbed up higher and higher. They climb until they could feel the entire sun shine on their faces. Evan closed his eyes as the sun hit him. The warmth felt amazing.

Then suddenly he felt the branch give away. Suddenly he was on the ground. His arm felt numb. He looked around as pain began to throb inside of him. Then he sees Connor. His look of worry. His yelling to him asking if he was okay. Everything felt blurry as tears began to rush down his face.

“Everything`s okay…” He said in a broken voice.


End file.
